Spotting Projection - Lessons from Hamlet

The lady doth protest too much, me thinks (Hamlet)

Hamlet is a Shakespearean tragedy with many twists and turns.  It is also a play within a play.  The main character, Hamlet, is the son of a murdered King and his Uncle, the King’s brother, is thought to be the murderer.  In a twist, this same Uncle is now Hamlet’s stepfather as he quickly moved in to marry his widowed mother, Queen Gertrude.  In an attempt to see if he can verify that his Uncle/new step father is, in fact, the murderer, Hamlet has a play performed that mirrors what he think actually happened.  It is Hamlet’s mother, Queen Gertrude, who proclaims, “the lady doth protest too much, me thinks” when she is asked by Hamlet about her opinion on the response of the Queen in the play who is expressing her love to the King but in an overly dramatic way which makes her sincerity questionable.

There is a lot more to this amazing play but there is tremendous insight into the nature of the human psyche.  I was with a CEO of a company in Singapore who warned me that when another company profusely tells you there is no problem, then – there IS a problem.  Assurance is nice but when overly emphasized it calls into question the veracity of that assurance.

The examples from politics are too numerous to even begin.  We have seen in both the distant and recent past how statements that are repeatedly made come out to be falsehoods in the end.

It’s as if our words are meant to convince ourselves of an underlying tension based on the incongruency of our actions with our own desired image. 

That is not to say that strongly reinforced statements of affirmation or denial may be, in fact, true.  The other variable is the incongruency that is happening with the listener.  Based on experience, at perhaps an unconscious level, the listener will filter what is said through their own experience and render the statement as invalid, even if true, simply because of the way in which it is being communicated.

Like the story of Goldilocks and the three bears we are looking for a tone and delivery of a message to land just right in order to be believable.

Rather than be better at deception the real answer is to be more honest with ourselves and with each other. When you catch yourself repeating something and feel an emotion – call it anxiety, passion, anger, the feeling is a clue that perhaps the reason for the repeating is there is a hidden truth to be uncovered.  It’s no good if we fool ourselves. 

So, the lady doth protest too much, me thinks.

What say you?